I wanted to work on this blog and concept for over two years. I’ve stopped myself countless times, and here’s why: codependents don’t understand boundaries the way others do. Well, honestly, most people with a myriad of personality issues don’t understand them. For us needy little charmers, we have a lot of trouble with keeping things to ourselves. We LOVE to emote everything- relationships, personal matters, insights, thoughts, and our feelings on everything! I also needed to grapple with the diagnosis of codependency.

(It sucks to know yourself.)

I needed to understand what it felt like to not spill the beans about my whole life to strangers, friends, co-workers, and all the kind Nigerian folks who’ve commented on my first post though it was a simple introduction. My therapist and I have agreed that I should start writing non-fiction again. What I have learned about myself is important, and I think it can help others.

I can’t promise to write every week, but I hope to.

I want to put out some rules real quick:

1. Self-diagnosis is not something I agree on. Most of us do not have the capacity to be that insightful, even about objective behaviors.
2. Shade tree psychology is something I will not perform or get involved in. I’m not your therapist or psychiatrist. Actually, nobody should screw around with trying to diagnosis others unless they are a professional. Without meaning to, by “helping” people, you project your shit subconsciously all over them.
3.  I am not perfect, I struggle every day with walking the walk of being in recovery. I make mistakes. Sometimes, I will write things people do not agree with. You are welcome to express yourself. However, I also have the right to read your opinion but choose not to act. Part of my recovery is learning that I don’t owe any one any thing, their feelings are their own and I don’t have to own them.

So, why do I want to explore this blog, right. this. second? Because as most writers will tell you, once an idea burrows in your head, the only way to let it go is release it on the page. I need to write two stories, do my homework, unpack my house, finish fulfilling a Kickstarter, work my day job, and run a business. However, self-care is what gets us through life. Writing today is my self-care.

Next blog: Definitions for codependency, and life in general.